Episode Two: Retail Center

How one small neighbourhood could require so many hairdressers, fried-chicken stores and euphemistic nail-artists is completely beyond your comprehension.

But here you are. And here they are.

It's reality, you just have to swallow it.

[Look]

You are on a street lined with small stores. Only a small percentage is convenient or useful. You have no idea who is occupying the demanding niche market that supports the others.

To the south, the train station.

To the north - the long road to your apartment.

[Look at shops]

Let's break it down - micro-economics style:

Four nail salons. Also providing waxing!
Three hair dressers. Two barbers.
Two bakeries.
Two real estate agents.
A video store.
Four fried-chicken stores.
Two fruit stores.
An indian take-away.

To summarise:
Food. The management of keratin. Audio visual entertainment and sleazy property-slinging.

None of which you desire at present.

[Look at video store]

Upcoming releases....

One man shoots, and learns to love.
One man loves, and learns to shoot.
A man and a woman overcome their differences, adversity, and learn to love.
A 3D animated bowling ball and a group of bowling pins teach us - via allegory, that anything is possible with the power of love.

Tagline: You'll love it!

[Look at chicken store]

It's like some poultry Auschwitz. Chicken Dachau.

In one hundred years, we'll be headed toward a barnyard reconciliation. Enshrining the rights of poultry within the constitution. Every business must meet a goose-hiring quota. A rooster for President in 3011!

"Yes - we cluck."

[Look at fruit store]

Bananas, apples. They're the staples.

Oranges, mandarins... drink a juice. They're really too labor-intensive.

Anything with a seed capable of choking an adolescent.... keep walking.

And spines? That's not even a fruit. It's a tree-borne insult.

[Look at real estate]

"You will be happy here"


There is something ominous about that statement. You imagine dark hoods painted with luminous smiling faces - they wear blood spattered smocks. You wake with a start but it's too late.

You've never met an estate agent that you didn't want to see chopped-up.

Statistically - that's either owing to your lack of experience, or the fact that estate agents are generally fodder.

You'll reserve judgement until you establish a good sample size.

[Look at bakery]

Refined flour. Refined sugar. Ironically, there is nothing refined about the people who enjoy this business.


Occasionally.... once a year, you will eat an eclair. Before the fact, you will think: I'm sure they're great. It's a dessert. It should be great.

After the fact, you will think: I cannot believe I have committed the next few hours of my life to digesting this business.

[Look at hairdresser]

Short back and sides. Leave the top a little longer than average. No product. No water. Ten dollars.


You can summarise the way the industry should operate in a few simple directives.

But, that's scarcely the reality.

You - you have turned to kitchen scissors.

It bothers you that hairdressers don't tend to wear gloves. You couldn't be paid enough to touch some stranger's greasy hair.

[Look at nail artist]

You look at your nails. You look at the posters. Back to your nails. Back to the posters.

You don't understand the nail aspect. That's a given.

You're reasonably sure that Strippers are the majority supporters of the nail salon, fake tan, baby wipe and faux-leather coat industries.

Resources - Tourism - Banking - Stripping. The four pillars of the economy!